|THE BIG QS: A GUY CALLED GERALD|
4th January 2012
What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a bass player.
What’s the worst club you’ve ever been to?
A club in Bulgaria - can't remember what it was called. Everywhere I went I was accompanied by three body guards and their guns.
What’s been your worst job?
Scraping varnish off old, broken chairs with pieces of broken glass in a low-lit room for a government employment scheme in the 80's.
What are you obsessed with right now?
And what do you hate right now?
When and where were you your happiest?
When I was in my studio with the door locked about a month and a half ago.
How do you describe what you do to someone who doesn’t know you?
It is impossible to describe what I do to people who know me, let alone people who don't know me.
Have you ever been arrested? And if so, what for?
Yes, I’ve been arrested a few times for being the wrong colour.
What’s the best record ever made?
'Slide' by Chick Corea.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
Who’s your all-time hero and why?
The sun because it separates the wheat from the chaff.
What do you collect – apart from records?
I don't collect records. Boring people collect records and then they want you to help them move! I collect individual sounds.
What’s your vice?
I like single malt whisky preferably from Japan.
Who was your first love, and what happened?
Her name was Elaine and I drove her crazy.
What were you doing at 2pm last Sunday afternoon?
I was at lying on a rock at Bronte Beach feeling the rock breathing and listening to the waves.
What’s your answer to everything?
On a scale of one to 10, how good are you in the sack?
It depends on the woman. As soon as you find the right combination and rhythm ...
What’s your most prized possession that you’ve still got from when you were a kid?
I don't have anything from when I was a kid.
Have you ever had a homosexual experience?
What was your last treat for yourself?
A Mars bar.
What do you spend your money on?
Rent and travel.
What’s your drug of choice?
Japanese, Italian, Jamaican and English food.
What can’t you live without?
What would you change about yourself if you could?
I wouldn't change anything. I am your perfect being. You hide me away and try to be like me.
What’s the worst item of clothing you’ve ever worn?
Army cadet uniform when I was in the cadets.
If you had a Tardis, what time would you go to?
What’s your lamest claim to fame?
A Guy Called Gerald will be playing The Book Club, London this Friday January 6