"I had a beard two years ago but split ends saw that off", says Edward Barton, the songwriter who describes himself as moderately hirsute in the hurly burly modern world of chest hair. Strange then, that his 'It's a fine day' was taken top five by high profile slap-heads Opus III in 1992. Fronted by Sinead O'Connor look alike Kirsty, Opus III wanted to sample the original but Edward wouldn't let them. "They must have caught me in a grumpy mood or something " Now the chap thoughtfully releases "5 songs 4 voices", sans music so DJs can do what they bloody well like. "I see them as bed builders. I can't make up fruity rhythmic backings but I can write good songs," he explains.

One of his classics, again on the hair theme, is called 'Barber Barber'. "That was in appreciation of a man with very efficient hands, a good straightforward English chap who plied his trade from a slightly dark haircutting cellar". But Edward is more than just a songwriter, with various forays into video, art and music under his belt. He once made cups of tea for the production crew of The Late Show in his living room, and even played guitar on Wogan. "That man has an astonishingly purple face, he's a classic beetroot," says the man who produces t-shirts featuring 'aubergines enjoying themselves'. And, he insists, "Wogan makes even an aubergine look pallid." So what exactly is it that you do, Ed? "I don't know really, it's quite embarrassing," he confesses. Whatever it is the Belgians seem to like him and he's become something of a living legend in the land of Hercule Poirot. "Yes, Belgians like me. I go back to be liked further. It's a pleasant dog licking experience".

[Author: Jane Fitz-Gerald]