But the joke to end all others *has* to be Wes Crusher!

"Oh, I mentally filtered out the other 50 overtones, and then noted that
pipping sound. Of course, I instantly recognised the rhythm from the
[whatever] ceremony, and then it was simple to deduce that Commander Riker
had done it."

Hey, guess what - I disagree with you :-) There is a certain  abillity
which the human brain has, I think it's called the party effect where you
can listen to just one sound in a room  full of sound. That ticking sound
is just the kind of sound which sticks out from the rest. I'll give it a
try on a sound centre sometime...

It's called the "Cocktail Effect" and allows the human brain to pick out
VERY familiar sounds over others - about the only one which really works
is your name. Ie. if you're trying to get someone's attetion, don't use
their nickname, use their full name. You'll get their attention much
easier.

The one thing I do agree with is, is that the tune was not that
recognisable.

Despite the fact that Paramount had it pounding over for three or four
mins. at the beginning, and at various other times during the show
too...(did you notice)

Off hand, how old is Picard? And how long has he been a captain? I'd like
to compare the speed of Kirk's career advancement with his. 

Picard is about late 50s. The only chronological mentions concerning the
captain, I can recall, were in Novel 3 'Children of Hamlin' where Data
compares some old fogies to be Picard's age, and late, possibly very late,
50's was hinted at.

As far as how long he's been a captain, DUNNO!! He's been in Star Fleet
for 20 years, he was captain of the Star Gazer for a while, until he got
it trashed somewhere or other, so about 5ish years?? Sumunt like that.

Hmmm... you're message has sparked of a fab idea for a Next Gen spin-off.
A sit-comm starring Q and his genius sidekick Wesley Crusher... they'd
work so well together, don't you think! Then again, maybe not.

Inquiry: If 'To Be Or Not To Be' is THE question, how can '42' be THE
answer? 
 
Well, 6 * 9 = 42 works in base 13, but 2B doesn't seem to work. It's 41 in 
base 15 and 44 in base 16. Maybe it depends on how many bits you use for
the  "or" operation... :-)

Hmmm. Bit naff this one.

The ending with Weasley was totally pukey! I'd have made him wait at least
ten years to enter the Academy, preferably on a prison planet! :-) 

Yup. Consider this:

An average Ensign has spent several years going through Star Fleet
academy, and will most likely end up repairing drinks machines on a dead
end ship for the first couple of years.

Smeggheadbrattface Wesely spent 0 years at SF academy, gets to pilot the
greatest ship in Star Fleet, probably the whole Federation, and gets to be
an ensign for doing nothing.

Conclusion: Must have something to do with Picard fancying his mum!!!!
Rumour has it that Geordi will be killed off in the 6th Season of STTNG. I
got this from a friend in the States. Remember, it's ONLY A RUMOUR!