The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

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Last updated 19 Jul 1998 with Rules from In the Pale Moonlight, Profit and
Lace, Strange New Worlds, The Sound of Her Voice, and Star Trek on the
Brain.

Rules					Refered to in

1.Once you have their money, you	1. Rom, "The Nagus"
	never give it back.		2. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
					3. The Federation Travel Guide
1.If they want their money back, give	Rom and Quark, "Prophet Motive" (*)
	it to them.
2.

3.Never spend more for an acquisition	Quark, "The Maquis, Part II"
	than you have to.

3.I found it; it's mine.		Nog, "Prisoners of Peace"

4.A woman wearing clothes is like	'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	a man in the kitchen.

5.

6.Never allow family to stand in the	1. Zek, "The Nagus"
	way of opportunity.		2. Odo, "Saratoga"
					3. Quark, Rom, and Dax, "Wrath of
					   the Prophets"
					4. Rom, "Lwaxana Troi and the
					   Wedding of Doom" (comic)
					5. Quark, "Vengeance" (*)
					6. Star Trek on the Brain

7.Keep your ears open.			Odo, "In the Hands of the Prophets"

8.Small print leads to large risk.	Rules

8.Only a fool passes up a business	Vung, "Warchild"
	opportunity.

9.Opportunity plus instinct equals	1. Nog, "The Storyteller"
	profit.				2. The Making of ST:DS9
					3. Nog, "The Pet"
					4. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
					5. Quark, "The Heart of the
					   Warrior"
					6. Narrator, "Life's Lessons"

10.Greed is eternal.			1. Quark, "Prophet Motive"
					2. Arridor and Kol, "False Profits"

10.Greed is dead.			Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)

11.Even if it's free, you can always	'Rules of Netquisition' #3
	buy it cheaper.

12.Anything worth selling is worth	'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	selling twice.

13.Anything worth doing is worth	1. The Making of ST:DS9
	doing for money.		2. Rules

14.[not given]				Nog, "Life's Lessons"

15.Keep your family close; keep your	'Rules of Netquisition' #3
	latinum closer.

16.A deal is a deal... until a better	1. Quark, "Melora"
	one comes along.		2. Nog, "Highest Score"
					3. Rom and Odo, "Saratoga"

17.A contract is a contract is a	Rom, Quark, Brunt, and Gint, "Body
	contract -- but only between	   Parts"
	Ferengi.

18.A Ferengi without profit is no	1. Ben Sisko and Nog, "Heart of
	Ferengi at all.			   Stone"
					2. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
					3. Rom and Odo, "Saratoga"
					4. Quark, "Ferengi Love Songs"

19.Satisfaction is not guaranteed	Quark, "Meridian"

20.Only give money to people you know	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	you can steal from.

21.Never place friendship before	1. Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
	profit.				2. Star Trek on the Brain

21.Never place profit before		Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
	friendship.

22.A wise man can hear profit in the	1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
	the wind.			2. Nog, "Cardassian Imps"
					3. Arridor and Kol, "False Profits"

22.Latinum tarnishes, but family is	Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
	forever.

23.Money can never replace dignity.	Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)

24.Latinum can't buy happiness, but	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	you can sure have a blast
	renting it.

25.There's always a way out.		'Rules of Netquisition' #1

26.As the customers go, so goes the	'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	wise profiteer.

27.There's nothing more dangerous	Rules
	than an honest businessman.

28.

29.What's in it for me?		Nog, "Highest Score"

30.

31.Never make fun of a Ferengi's	Quark, "The Siege" (Add-on: Rules)
	mother. (Insult something he
	cares about, instead.)

32.

33.It never hurts to suck up to the	1. Quark and Pel, "Rules of
	boss.				   Acquisition"
					2. The Making of ST:DS9
					3. Odo, "Saratoga"

34.War is good for business.		1. Quark, "Destiny"
					2. The 34th Rule (*)

35.Peace is good for business.		1. Dax, "Destiny"
					2. Quark and Rom, "Objective:
					   Bajor" (*)

37.If it's free, take it and worry	Nog, "Arcade"
	about hidden costs later.

38.

39.Friendship is temporary; profit is	'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	forever.

40.She can touch your lobes, but	Rules
	never your latinum.

41.Profit is its own reward.		Rules

42.What's mine is mine, and what's	'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	yours is mine too.

43.

44.Never confuse wisdom with luck.	Rules

45.Ambition knows no family.		'Rules of Netquisition' #2

46.Make your shop easy to find.	'Rules of Netquisition' #1

47.Never trust anyone whose suit is	Quark, "Rivals"
	nicer than your own.

48.The bigger the smile, the sharper	1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
	the knife.			2. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
					3. Odo, "Saratoga"
					4. Star Trek on the Brain (*)

49.Everything is worth something to	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	somebody.

50.Gratitude can bring on generosity.	'Rules of Netquisition' #1

51.Reward anyone who adds to your	Bokat, "Arcade"
	profits so they will continue
	to do so.

52.Never ask when you can take.	Quark, "Babel"

57.Good customers are as rare as	Quark, "Armageddon Game"
	latinum -- treasure them.

58.There is no substitute for success.	Rules

59.Free advice is seldom cheap.	1. Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
					2. The Making of ST:DS9
					3. Odo, "Saratoga"

60.Keep your lies consistent.		Rules (*)

60.Let's you and him fight.		1. Tunk, "Balance of Power"
					2. Rom, "Four Funerals and a
					   Wedding" (comic)

61.

62.The riskier the road, the greater	1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
	the profit.			2. Nog, "Cardassian Imps"
					3. Quark, "Little Green Men"
					4. Gronn, Celebrity Comic #1 (*)
					5. Federation (*)
					6. Gaila, "Business as Usual"

63.

64.

65.Win or lose, there's always		Rules
	Huyperian beetle snuff.

65.Huyperian beetle snuff may be fun	Zek, "Prophet Motive" (*)
	for you and me, but it's no
	fun for the beetles.

66.

67.

68.Ear stroking will get you		'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	anything.

69.Ferengi are not responsible for	Tunk, "Balance of Power"
	the stupidity of other races.

70.

71.

72.Never trust your customers.		'Rules of Netquisition' #1

73.If it gets you profit, sell your	'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	own mother.

74.

75.Home is where the heart is, but	Quark, "Civil Defense"
	the stars are made of latinum.

76.Every once in a while declare	1. Quark, "The Homecoming"
	peace.				2. Nog, "Prisoners of Peace"

77.It's better to swallow your pride	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	than to lose your profit.

78.When the going gets tough, the	'Rules of Netquisition' #3
	tough change the Rules.

79.Beware of the Vulcan greed for	Rules
	knowledge.

80.

81.

82.The flimsier the product, the	Rules
	higher the price.

83.

84.A friend is not a friend if he	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	asks for a discount.

85.Never let the competition know	Rules
	what you're thinking.

86.

87.Learn the customer's weaknesses so	Nog, "Highest Score"
	you can better take advantage
	of him.

87.A friend in need means three times	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	the profit.

88.

89.Ask not what your profits can do	Rules
	for you, but what you can do
	for your profits.

90.

91.

92.There are many paths to profit.	Nog, "Highest Score"

93.Act without delay! The sharp knife	'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	cuts quickly.

94.Females and finances don't mix.	1. Rom, "Ferengi Love Songs"
					2. Quark and Nog, "Profit and Lace"

95.Expand or die.			Kafar, "False Profits"

96.For every Rule, there is an equal	Rules
	and opposite Rule (except when
	there's not).

97.Enough... is never enough.		Rules

98.Every man has his price.		Quark, "In the Pale Moonlight"

99.Trust is the biggest liability of	Rules
	all.

100.If they take your first offer,	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	you either asked too little
	or offered too much.

101.The only value of a collectible	'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	is what you can get somebody
	else to pay for it.

102.Nature decays, but latinum is	Quark and Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"
	forever.

103.Sleep can interfere with... [cut	Pel, "Rules of Acquisition" (*)
	off]

103.Fill a desparate need with your	Rom, "The Heart of the Warrior"
	most expensive product, then
	mark it up 500%.

104.Faith moves mountains... of	Rules
	inventory.

105.Don't trust anyone who trusts	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	you.

106.There is no honor in poverty.	Rules

107.A warranty is valid only if they	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	can find you.

108.

109.Dignity and an empty sack is	Quark, "Rivals"
	worth the sack.

110.

111.Treat people in your debt like	1. Ben Sisko, "Past Tense, Part I"
	family -- exploit them		2. Worf, "The Darkness and the
	[ruthlessly].			   Light"
					3. Add-on: Quark, "Legends of the
					   Ferengi"

112.(Omitted)				Quark, "Playing God" (*)

113.(Omitted)				Rules (*)

114.

115.The best contract always has a	'Rules of Netquisition' #3
	lot of fine print.

116.There's always a catch.		'Rules of Netquisition' #1

117.

118.

119.Never judge a customer by the	1. 'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	size of his wallet.             2. "Who Mourns For Morn?"
	(Sometimes, good things come
	in small packages.)

120.

121.Everything is for sale, even	Rules
	friendship.

122.

123.Even a blind man can recognise	Rules
	the glow of latinum.

124.

125.Count it.				'Rules of Netquisition' #1

126.

127.Stay neutral in conflict		'Rules of Netquisition' #2

128.

129.

130.

131.

132.

133.

134.

135.Never trust a beneficiary.		'Rules of Netquisition' #1

136.

137.

138.

139.Wives serve; brothers inherit.	1. Odo, "Necessary Evil"
					2. Odo, "Saratoga"

140.

141.Only fools pay retail.		Rules

142.There's no such thing as an	'Rules of Netquisition' #3
	unfair advantage.

143.Risk is part of the game -- play	'Rules of Netquisition' #3
	it for all it's worth.

144.There's nothing wrong with		Rules
	charity... as long as it winds
	up in your pocket.

145.

146.Necessity, n. The mother of	'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	invention. Profit is the
	father.

147.

148.

149.

150.

151.

152.A lie is a way to tell the truth	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	to someone who doesn't know.

153.Sell the sizzle, not the steak.	Quark, DS9 Comic #22

154.

155.

156.

157.

158.

159.

160.

161.

162.Even in the worst of times,	1. Rules
	someone turns a profit.		2. Rom, "Wrath of the Prophets"

163.

164.

165.

166.

167.

168.

169.Competition and fair play are	'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	mutually exclusive.

170.

171.Blood is thicker than water, and	'Rules of Netquisition' #3
	latinum is thicker than both.

172.Chances aren't what they used to	'Rules of Netquisition' #3
	be.

173.

174.

175.

176.

177.Know your enemies... but do	Rules
	business with them always.

178.

179.

180.

181.Not even dishonesty can tarnish	Rules
	the shine of profit.

182.

183.

184.[not given]			Tunk, "Balance of Power" (*)

185.

186.

187.

188.A fool and his money is the best	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	customer.

189.Let others keep their reputation	Rules (*)
	You keep their money.

190.Hear all; trust nothing.		Nog, "Call to Arms"

191.A Ferengi waits to bid until his	Tunk, "Balance of Power"
	opponents have exhausted
	themselves.

192.Never cheat a Klingon... unless	Rules
	you're sure you can get away
	with it.

193.

194.It's always good business to	Quark, "Whispers" (*)
	know about new customers
	before they walk in your door.

195.

196.

197.

198.

199.

200.If you're going to have to		'Rules of Netquisition' #1
	endure, make yourself
	comfortable.

201.

202.The justification of profit is	Rules
	profit.

203.New customers are like razor-	Quark, "Little Green Men"
	backed Greeworms -- they can
	be succulent, but sometimes
	they bite back!

204.It takes a Ferengi to cheat a	'Rules of Netquisition' #3
	Ferengi.

205.

206.

207.

208.Sometimes the only thing more	Zek, "Ferengi Love Songs"
	dangerous than the question
	is an answer.

209.

210.

211.Employees are the rungs on the	1. Grimp, "Bar Association"
	ladder of success -- don't	2. Rom, "Lwaxana Troi and the
	hesitate to step on them.	   Wedding of Doom" (comic)

212.

213.

214.Never begin a business		Quark, "The Maquis, Part I"
	negotiation on an empty		The Federation Travel Guide
	stomach.

215.

216.Never gamble with an empath.	Quark, "The Laertian Gamble"

217.You can't free a fish from water.	Quark, "Past Tense, Part I" (*)

218.Always know what you're buying.	Rules (*)

218.Always know the competition.	Odo, "Gypsy World"

218.Sometimes what you get free costs	Quark, DS9 Comic #12: "Baby
	entirely too much.		   on Board"
     much.

219.Possession is 11/10 of the law.	Tunk, "Balance of Power"

220.

221.

222.

223.Beware the man who doesn't make	1. Rules
	time for oo-mox.		2. "Who Mourns For Morn?"

224.

225.

226.

227.

228.

229.Latinum lasts longer than lust.	1. Rom, "Ferengi Love Songs"
					2. Quark, "Four Funerals and a
					   Wedding" (comic)
230.

231.There's a sucker born every	'Rules of Netquisition' #2
	minute; be sure you're the
	first to find each one.

232.

233.

234.

235.

236.You can't buy fate.		Rules

237.

238.

239.Never be afraid to mislabel a	Gint, "Body Parts"
	product.

240.

241.

242.More is good...

243.

244.

...

285.



299.Whenever you exploit someone, it	1. Neelix, "False Profits" (*)
	never hurts to thank them.
	(That way, it's easier to	2. Star Trek on the Brain
	exploit them the next time.)

  ?.The more time they take deciding,	Nog, "Stowaways"
	the more money they will spend.

  ?.The greater (the) amount you are	Nog, "Stowaways"
	taking from someone, the
	greater the distraction must be.

  ?.A bargain usually isn't.		Jake, "The Pet"

  ?.One person's secret is another	Quark, "Devil in the Sky"
	person's opportunity.

  ?.The hand that holds the latinum	Nog, "Highest Score"
	may also hide a dagger.

  ?.You can tell a great deal about a	Merchant, "False Profits"
	man from his shoes.

  ?.Time's an asset.			Merchant, "False Profits"

  ?.Your goods are now my goods.	Merchant, "False Profits"

  ?.Exploitation begins at home.	Arridor and the Sandalmaker, "False
					   Profits"

  ?.When you see a good deal, jump on	Quark, "Saratoga"
	it.

  ?.A Ferengi without a head for	Nog, "Saratoga"
	business has no future.

  ?.Business is business, even among	Odo, "Saratoga"
	friends.

  ?.Everything has a price.		Pol, "Federation"

 **.When no appropriate Rule applies,	Arridor, "False Profits"
	make one up. (The unwritten
	rule) [Example: When the
	messenger comes to appropriate
	your profits, kill the messenger.]


About the Rules
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first Grand Nagus. Gint, is generally regarded as the author of the
Rules of Acquisition, the sacred precepts upon which all of Ferengi
society is based. But they are just written down, not carved in stone.
Even if they were, they're only guideposts; the name "Rules of
Acquisition" was only a clever marketing ploy. After all, would you buy a
book called "Suggestions of Acquisition"? ("Body Parts")

In fact, Gint only wrote the first Rule of Acquisition, cleverly calling
it the 162nd Rule to create a demand for the first 161 (Rules). His
successor, Yost, wrote the second Rule, number 104. Many of the Rules were
written by the Grand Nagi over the years, but some came from Ferengi
businessmen or entertainers. Only one Rule was written by a non-Ferengi:
Rule 95 was written by The Masked Breen (the Ferengi didn't know at the
time that all Breen are masked). (Legends)

There are 285 Rules of Acquisition altogether (Pel, "Rules of
Acquisition"), and there have been since at least stardate 43385 (TNG's
"The Price"). As of that stardate, there were 47 commentaries, 900 major
and minor adjustments, and over 10,000 considered opinions (Voyager's
"False Profits"), though more have likely been added since, including an
amendment the Ferengi government was considering on stardate 47829 (TNG's
"Bloodlines").

The first mention of the Rules of Acquisition in Star Trek was in DS9's
first season episode "The Nagus", though a quote in a prior episode,
"Babel", was later identified as a Rule.

Notes on specific Rules
-----------------------
The second Rules numbered 1, 10, 21, 22, 65, and 285, and the Rule listed
as number 23, were "The Rules of Acquisition, Revised For the Modern
Ferengi" from "Prophet Motive". These revised Rules were never officially
released, as Zek rescinded them after a prophet experience.

The novel Vengeance indicates that Quark has his own variation on the
Sixth Rule: "Never allow the hatred of family to stand in the way of
profit."

It seems that Zek's new Rule 22 (Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever)
is intended to be a variation on the real Rule 102 (Nature decays, but
Latinum is forever). Perhaps Zek re-ordered some of the Rules, or perhaps
the writers couldn't think of an opposite Rule for "A wise man can hear
profit in the wind."

Rules 34 and 35, "War is good for business" and "Peace is good for
business", respectively, are easy to confuse. In "Destiny", Dax called
"Peace" the 34th Rule, but Quark corrected her that "Peace" was Rule 35.
However, in Objective: Bajor, Rom called "War" the 35th Rule. The 34th
Rule is a novel written by Armin Shimerman and David  ütoGeorge, available
in November 1998. It remains to be seen whether peace or war will be good
for profit in this book.

Rule 48 is misidentified as 49 in the non-fiction book "Star Trek on the
Brain".

Quark may have referred to Rule 60 in "Visionary". When he was accused of
lying about his story, he asked, "Which part?" The response was "All of
it", and Quark offered "At least I was consistent."

In the hardcover novel Federation, a Romulan Bird-of-Prey owned by Ferengi
was named "The 62nd Rule". This was in the third season of TNG, and Data
did not understand the reference, so it is likely that the Federation did
not know much about Ferengi culture until later.

In DS9 Celebrity Comic #1 (written by Aron Eisenberg (Nog)), Gronn
mistakenly identified Rule 62 as 63. Nog corrected him.

Pel may have invented what she said for the Rule 103.

The omission of Rules 112 and 113 was necessary to maintain the family-
friendliness of this website.

"Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit" was actually the
first Rule of Acquisition ever put to parchment, thousands of years ago.
Nagus Gint called it the 162nd Rule to increase demand for Rules 1 through
161. (Rules) The second Rule was number 104, written by Gint's successor.
(Legends)

Tunk misidentified Rule 191 as 184.

Quark referred to Rule 189 in "Babel". He asked Odo if he wanted to take a
spin at the Dabo table. "If it's your reputation you're worried about,
nobody has to know."

Quark wasn't certain of the number for the Rule listed as 194. "It's one
of the high-numbered ones... 194, I think."

In "Past Tense, Part I", Quark called "You can't free a fish from water"
as the 217th Rule, but in "Rules", he called it the 117th. He corrected
himself in Legends of the Ferengi that it was, in fact, the 217th.

Quark may have been referring to Rule 218 in "The Abandoned" when someone
asked him if there was a Rule about checking merchandise before buying it.

Quark mentioned Rule #243 in "Profit and Loss", though he did not quote
the text of the Rule.

Rule 286 isn't a real Rule, of course, but it should be, according to
Quark.

Rule 299 was invented by Neelix, posing as the Grand Proxy, the official
messenger for the Grand Nagus. He claimed that several new Rules of
Acquisition had been adopted since Arridor and Kol left the Arpha
Quadrant, seven years prior.

Other Notes
-----------
Rules coming from episodes are considered "canon", and are given highest
priority in this list. Following in order of importance are Quark books,
novels, young adult books, comic books, and the Rules of Netquisition.

The two Quark books are The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (Rules) and
Legends of the Ferengi (Legends). Rules included most of the Rules
previously quoted in the series, and added many more. Legends is a
collection of one- and two-page stories explaining the source of all of
the Rules of Acquisition that were listed in Rules, along with others
mentioned in episodes after the previous book came out. The Audiobook
version, read by the author (Quark), has a few "extras" not included in
the book, but also omits several of the Rules for time considerations.

The Internet competition, "The Rules of Netquisition", was a contest held
in the springs of 1994, 1996, and 1997. 21 Rules were taken from the first
competition; 19 Rules were taken from the second competition; and 12 Rules
were taken from the third. The next Rules of Netquisition contest will
begin in (approximately) February, 1998.

Q. Why did Quark travel back in time to 15th century Spain?
A. He wanted to learn the Rules of Inquisition. :-)

This site was the Sell Out Site of the Month
for May, 1996 and February, 1997!

[8337 visits since 96/06/27.]

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DS9 / Psi Phi