Edward Barton: 2009 Biography

Ed Barton (from his MySpace Site):
  1. Edward invented and patented a knitted woollen radiator cover that is designed to stop radiators looking cold.
  2. Edward wrote "It's a Fine Day" (which long before it charted at number 4 for Opus 3 and subsequently hatched a hundred versions) was an indie hit . Incidentally it still holds the record for the highest ever chart placing of an unaccompanied poem. The last line "we will have salad" is the only unsampled line left.
  3. Edward once kicked Bono. May 1980.
  4. Edward was rescued from a police cell by Tony Wilson. Upon discovering that Tony and he shared a passion for powerboat racing the officer in charge dropped all charges and let Edward go. Remarkable really as Edward was accused of destroying another policeman's house.
  5. Edward co-wrote Kylie Minogue's "Confide in Me".
  6. Edward has a room containing over 300 teddy bears: non of them worth anything, other than love. They were rescued from kerbs, skips and back alleys in the 1980's when it seems the whole of Manchester chucked out it's childhood. He also has a large collection of children's shoes, babies dummies and over a thousand mugs which he re-arranges instead of being a Buddhist.
  7. Edward appeared twice on "The Tube". If you say the words "I've Got No Chickens but I've Got Five Wooden Chairs" to a boy over 40 there is a strong chance of a big smile. Despite the lack of swearing or sexy stuff his performances attracted more complaints from the public than any other act. He refused to appear a third time after being asked to emerge from a cake with Samantha Fox.
  8. The "Observer" listed his "A Little Christmas Eve Thieving" in its "Best Christmas Records of All Time".
  9. "Edward Not Edward" was a tribute album of Edward's songs released in . It featured A Guy Called Gerald, 808 State, The Ruthless Rap Assassins, The Inspiral Carpets, Stump, Ted Chippington.
  10. Edward was arrested for displaying his installation "Stolen", a large cage containing household objects shop-lifted from various supermarkets. As a result he is probably the only person to appear ( topless or otherwise) on page 3 of "The Sun", and "The Star" and page 5 of "The Mirror". The Sun described him amusingly as 'Manchester's very own Leonardo Da Pinchi.' Sadly his "Oblong Art Gallery" on the top floor of "Afflecks Palace" in Manchester was, also at the police's request, shut down.
  11. In the 90's Edward was the unofficial "trance laureate" he wrote 6 top 30 tracks and many dance chart hits with among others Norman Cook as "Pizza Man", Paul Oakenfold, ATB, LOST WITNESS, Justin Robertson, Way Out West and Orbital.
  12. Edward played guitar on "Sowing the Seeds of Love" for Tears for Fears on the Wogan Show. It's on you -Tube
  13. Probably because he was cheap, polite and didn't mind sleeping the night in the back of a van parked on a hill, Edward was the tour support for many bands in the 80's.He particularly enjoyed the company of Stump, Microdisney and James. Less fun were the The Proclaimers who refused to share a dressing room with him and challenged him to a scrap. Edwards response was to raise an eyebrow and enquire " what - just the two of you?"
  14. Edward was strangely prominent during Manchester's early rave years. He wrote "Born in the North" by a Guy Called Gerald which was one of the Hacienda's biggest floor undulators.
  15. Edward suffers from a rare disease called Mitochondrial Myopathy and won't be getting in any more silly scraps (although maybe a few more scrapes) and won't be around quite as long as he'd been keen on. - so best enjoy him now eh?
  16. Edward once wrote a song with a neighbour of his - Nico from 'The Velvet Underground'.
  17. Edward's last offering was "Bad Leg" ,a book of his poetry of which some quite famous people have said some quite nice things.
"ed is currently writing tracks for ministry of sound after having been sampled by them ,He has produced a few Acapella albums under the name of HUSH featuring various singers. ED also has a project with Happy Monday's ex guitarist MARK DAY, that he's been recording in PADDY STEERS studio 808 recorded a track for DON SOLARIS with ED's lyrics but it remains on the shelf. ED has been running a bizarre club night HIP REPLACEMENT, which features any thing from Ukrainians folk groups, life drawing classes, first aid demos pass the parcel (forfeits include balcony jumping and forced nudity) I appeared regularly in his wardrobe orchestra (every musician in separate wardrobes, try playing trombone in a wardrobe!) Id love another copy of BORN IN THE NORTH there is a TV appearance from 89 on GRANADA TV with GERALD ED and MY SELF doing born in the North which did get played at the HACIENDA quite regularly for a joke record. Howard Walmsley also has an epic documentary on ED BARTON in the pipeline".